Procrastination

Dear Readers,

Now I know some of you think you are excellent procrastinators; however, I’m better by far. Allow me to explain. It’s not something I am proud of, but it should count as a talent. Maybe I’ll put it on the job applications? That’ll get me hired!

Anyways, currently level of procrastination is right below pulling an Oedipus and driving stakes into my eyes. To be specific, I have 11 essays to write. And 4 days to write them in. Using layman’s terms: “I am screwed.”

I would write more, but I should really get two of these written tonight. If you want to leave your own procrastination stories in The comments… I would appreciate it. We procrastinators need to stick together!!

Gah! I don’t want to write these essays… I’m boldly going where no squirrel has gone before. Perhaps this is one small step for a squirrel, one large leap for squirrel kind. Stop it, now I’m just procrastinating some more. (Feel free to leave your own little procrastination knock of if famous quotes in the comments)

Regards,
Squirrel

In Which We’re The Good Guys…

Dear Readers and Squirrel –

Damn it! I did it again. I’m a Fracking boy scout.

Okay let me clarify. Have you ever played a game with a morality system? You know, those game that give you a choice between being the whitest of White Knights, whose very presence causes flowers to sprout unbidden from the barren soil OR the most black-hearted Son of a Hutt that kicks puppies and eats children for breakfast.

Paragon or Renegade?
Which will you Choose?

Good or bad? Karma or no-Karma? Fame or Infamy? Paragon or Renegade?

I always play the good guy, otherwise I end up feeling bad. Can you believe that? I feel bad for insulting these tiny amalgamation of pixels on my TV. It makes no sense. But even when I sit down and purposely try to choose all the evil options, I end up wussing out. I just can’t be evil! How frustrating is that!

The best I can figure is that going full evil always seemed too destructive for my tastes. I want to feel like I’ve built something that will last at the end of a gaming campaign, not destroyed something. The only problem is that it usually makes a game too easy. From what I can tell the only real difference would be that its more difficult to get supplies from people who hate you, versus acquiring them from people who worship the very ground you walk upon. But, then I guess if you were super evil you’d just kill them for the stuff anyways.  If anything, I think that playing a good character should make it more difficult. You have to play by the rules and that should really be a limiting factor.

What about you guys? You always end up being Big Damn Hero’s, or can you play the villain? Leave a comment>

Moral of the story is that I always, always play good. I just can’t stand evil for its own sake.  – Hedgehog

Challenge Friday: Sensational Senses

Dear Readers,

This weeks challenge: Write a blog in which you mention all five senses. Yes, I know this is incorrect, because the human body has many more than five senses. Such as the sense of balance, sense of temperature, and sense that tells you where each of your body parts are even if you are not looking. However, in this post, we will focus on the big five.

The Big Five:

1. Sight
2. Hearing
3. Taste
4. Smell
5. Touch

For your enjoyment:

One day Hedgehog and I were driving home from school. This was about three years ago. I was a Freshmeat, sorry Freshman, and Hedgehog a Junior. After a particularly boring day at school– I actually don’t remember what we were doing that day, but it was school so this must be factual– we had hopped into Hedgehog’s cherry red Honda. Never had we hopped into this car faster. The town was working on the sewage system and I don’t think I need to tell you what that smelled like. Children skip the next word. Shit. Anyways we were speeding home. She was being super obnoxious. None stop talking. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I was just about to explode, but I contained myself. Eventually, however, I just couldn’t keep it in. I screamed, much like a banshee.

Shut up or someone’s getting slapped!

I should have known better than to issue that challenge. Like the smartalick she is she then proceeded to make some stupid noise….

Darn it! I was trapped. I couldn’t back down now. I had to slap someone. Hedgehog was driving though. It’s generally a bad idea to smack the driver. What was I to do?

I lifted my hand and ***SMACK**. It struck like a hammer. A resounding slap welted my face. Somehow, I even managed to cut the inside of my cheek on my tooth. The blood tasted strongly of iron. (Don’t ask me how I know that…)  OUCH!!! I would not suggest slapping yourselves anytime soon. However, it did get Hedgehog to shut up.

Recap:

Taste- blood
Touch- struck like a hammer
Sight- cherry red
Hear- scream like a banshee
Smell- sewage

Regards,

Squirrel

In Which I Give Out Homework…

Dear Readers and Squirrel –

Unlike me, I know you are not much of a writer, Squirrel. So this post is most likely going to be more directed toward our readers. However, it you are interested feel free to take part. I might eventually be able to instill my love of wordsmithing into you this time around. Though I have my doubts. If anything, it maybe a good distraction from that pesky school Project you are doomed to work on for the next few weeks.

Awhile back I came across this little writing excercise, and while it is cheesy, I think it is actually a pretty good way to begin writing consistently. It is called the 30 day challenge. Basically it is just a list of items you must write about everyday for 3o days. Minimum lengths will be two paragraphs, like us here on the site :). Feel free to comment on what you guys think about the excercise here on the site. Hopefully it isn’t too lame.

1. Something you love.

2. A couple.

3. Write about something ugly — war, fear, hate, cruelty — but find the beauty (silver lining) in it.

4. A pair of eyeglasses.

5. Something historical.

6. Family.

7. A pet who is loved.

8. Something personal.

9. A love poem!

10. Something you hate.

11. An adventure!

12. A favorite memory…

13. “Remember that time when…”

14. Friends.

15. A happy ending.

16. A goodbye.

17. Write about your early memories of faith, religion, or spirituality; yours or someone else’s.

18. Describe a “first” (first apartment, first kiss, first time driving a car, first lie, first big success, first roller coaster ride, first time in this setting).

19. Write about one (or both) of your parents. Start with “I was born…”

20. A short fanfic.

21. Something erotic.

22. Something irritating.

23. An argument.

24. An important conversation, in the style of a movie script.

25. Describe a significant place, allowing the details to reveal why the place matters. Describe it from a tree or rooftop or from a hawk’s point of view. Describe it from the height of a dog or a turtle.

26. Yourself.

27. Write about your first name—why you were given it, what associations or stories are attached to it, what you think or know it means. Do the same for your last name. Given the chance, what name would you give yourself?

28. A suicide note.

29. An idea.

30. Choose a photograph from a published collection of black-and-whites, of humans in uncertain conditions. Write the story of one of the individuals or one of the groupings.

Trying to help out the future writers out there – Hedgehog

Challenge Friday: In Which I Attempt Time Travel…

Dear Future –

I write to you from the past! Well it’s Challenge Friday and the name of the game is time travel. I must write a letter to future Squirrel. I must say, I had some difficulty deciding on what worldly advise I should to dispense to Squirrel ten years down the line but I think I have come up with a few things.

Future Squirrel –

First off, you’ve aged pretty good. Seeing as this is from nearly ten years ago, I really can not predict what troubles you have come across. However, I hope to give you a little relevent advise, no matter how horribly dated it may become. So here’s a list of what I think you’ll probably gonna need some help on later:

1. Don’t obsess too much. Sometimes you just need to relax, Squirrel. Worry wastes your life. Worrying never solved anything. So don’t. So the next time you’re sitting in a restaurant and you happen to notice some of the heat lamps in the kitchen are at slightly different heights, please do not ask the waitress to align them.

2. Okay by this time little Squirrel will be allowed to drink! Whoo! But all the fun aside, be smart about it. I’m not saying don’t, because it is still an experience worth having. Just don’t over indulge, you’ll hate yourself for it in the morning anyways. All things in moderation.

3. Don’t let opportunities pass you by because your afraid. Don’t let life pass you by! Be a proactive and take some chances. A little odd, given my last point, but it is true. You don’t want to get old and be full of regrets about all the stuff you didn’t get a chance to do. You’ll really kick yourself then and at that age its back for your health to get all those bruises.

Hope it helps – Past Hedgehog